wasted talent / an embarrassment to my generation...

so today i open my dell inspiron 6000, wait for xp to yawn, rub the sleep out its video card and groggily ask me for the billionth time what action to take with my always-plugged-in external hard drive. after yet again canceling i hover the cursor over the firefox quick launch icon and depress the left mouse button. this is my routine. once or twice a day most days.

yes, i am a techie nerd. yes, i am the product of growing up during the pc/internet boom of the late 2nd millenium. and yes, i am the offspring of a man who at the age of forty dropped everything to pursue a self employed career in computer consulting and troubleshooting. when i was hitting puberty there were more pentiums in the basement than hairs below my bellybutton.

now i have this $750 package of tools, resources, knowledge and unlimited creative potential that has evolved over decades, been painstakingly crafted by the most brilliant minds in recent history and all within the reach of my fingertips anytime i need it. what do i use it for? facebook and porn. i mean sometimes i feel as if i have a phd from veterinary school and work at a petting zoo.

besides the internet, what else is there to do? let's take a look...

1. gaming
-computer beefy enough to make it worth it: $2,000. games: $50-$60 each. time before your shit is outdated: yesterday. yeah, no thanks i think i'll buy a playstation every 5 or 6 years for less than a quarter of the price. and have games that don't suck.

2. music
-this is as far as i go: insert new cd, rip in itunes, sync with ipod. it's a whole lot easier to plug my speaker cable into my ipod then to wait a year for itunes to load. besides, who sits at there computer just to listen to music? losers. that's who.

3. email
-c'mon who does that anymore? i'm pretty sure my deceased great-grandmother is on facebook.

i might be more compelled to spend time on this thing if there were some kind of financial gain. how much do you think norton and mcafee pay those hacker kids to write viruses? what, you really think these people put in all that effort for a few laughs?

so my theory is this: if you are not a student, wow player or a sexual predator, you shouldn't have bought a home computer. it's like buying a ferrari for the cigarette lighter. woohoo! look at the coils they're orange...